Sunday, August 19, 2012

A Day Of Blues

I'm not having a good day today. I feel off kilter, not to mention saddened.

Last night, I released t from his submissive role thinking the balance would be healthy. I don't know if it is. I woke up this morning feeling sort of confused, vulnerable. I don't like the vulnerable feeling. It's not so much that I can't order him around and make him do things because I can do that whether he is "collared" or not. It's feeling like I have to become a different person. Maybe that is why it's so hard for me to get into the role when we take time off. I don't think I like wearing two hats. I also put my shield down. When I am in my role, less things bother me. I can handle the weight of the world on my shoulders, but as soon as I became wife, the weight began to make me crumble. I'm not sure how to deal with this. 


1 comment:

  1. i know how you feel. i to feel a sadness when i am released. Although Your balls that hang between my legs welcome the release and fresh air. it makes my heart heavy that something we can control has made you sad. i suggest that you release me for a short period of time for cleansing, and maintenance, then order me back into chastity. i enjoy being under your total control. There are many things i wish you would utilize me for that you do not. i know in time you will get there though. i need to feel the total control that you have over me. i want to take care of all those things a slave should do for their Mistress. i need to feel needed, used, humiliated to an extent. Just remember that as your husband too, i also need to feel the touch of your lips to mine. i need to feel the touch of your hand on my body, and the love that we share for each other. Just because i am your slave and you control me, does not mean that you can not love me and show your love for me. i want you to be happy. i want to make you happy Do as you need to to BE HAPPY!!!!